Week 3 of our mission in Cochabamba was crazy — and I´m not trying to be dramatic when I say crazy. After a day–long delay, the Georgia mission team finally arrived late Monday evening. For the next 5 days our new family of 19 christians ate breakfast at 6:30am, began the day with a devotional, went out into the field, ministered God´s will, ate delicious food, pursued fruitful conversations, and ended the day in a 6-7 hour coma. All the while we captured experiences that both stretched and blessed us.
Along with going to orphanages + small church communities and doing vacation Bible school ministry, God has grown me in my identity. After a frustrating reflection of my life on Thursday evening, I finally had the break through. As I sat on the steps of the Lydia House in my pajamas completely engulfed by solitude and night, I asked (begged may be more accurate) God to give me faith.
Below is my journal after my time spent with God:
She fell away. She who doubts and roves in confusion. Plucked up and away.
¨It´s not about you. I´ve taken it away.¨ These are the words I experienced. These are the words from God. Not only am I free, I feel free. I have been given a different outlook; my mind has been freed. The chains are finally broken.
It matters not that I don´t know. It matters not.
Please Jesus, protect me. Keep me safe from the rusting chains. Please let me rebuke that nasty–selfish portion I have so effectivley held on to.
I praise God for finally lifting this burden of confusion…there is soo much more work to be done, and I am soo thankful for this fact. I have so much potential; we all do. To be obedient for God´s plan (even if it sounds ridiculous, impossible, crazy, or insignificant) is key.
To truely love God, I need to be faithful. To have a legitimate faith in God, I need to trust. It´s by obedience to God´s will that I am claiming that I trust God. Obedience to God´s will is having faith in God. Obedience to God is evidence of my love for God.
Therefore, obedience is key. Jesus was obedient. Godly women and men of great faith + works only are amazing vessels because they are obedient. To willinginly sacrifice self–pride and selfishness to the point of obedience is love.
We see this all the time in relationships between wives and husbands, sisters and brothers, mothers and sons, fathers and daughters, and between friends. Love is exemplified in our willinginess to sacrifice and to fortify that which is authentic, good, honorable and true.
I´m ready and willing to obey God. I´m plunging into God´s written word and asking God to connect the dots between what is true and my life experiences. I´m ready to be an awesome vessel for God.
